One of the reasons to created this blog was to verbalize what I felt during these 10 years of straightening, and maybe to help someone (as I was helped) to understand and take care of your hair, your skin, anyway.
There were always friends who encouraged me to assume my curly hair, that I would look prettier, more natural (but people did not come into my head). One night in a bar here in Belo Horizonte, I was with some friends and I went to the bathroom and they had two black girls, already empowered, but that they looked at me in that style “you can not sit with us” and made comments, whisper about my hair, I could not hear them, but I knew it was something bad, something sad and cruel.
People, accepted yourself (or do not) take time, understand that you need to be YOU, it is difficult, there is so little representation, and you still see (especially for children) that there is no reference, many of the girls that straight the hair may not know, but That straight the hair is a way of being accepted, a way of being loved, or that people do not make jokes with the texture, shape or volume of their curls; Me Arlaine hide behind of the speech “it gives less work”, it was a lie, but I only to understood this when going through the transition, and say NO to the standards.
Still hurts to talk about it, how strange it is to have a nature and to spend (in my case a big part of life), but there are other people who spend their whole lives trying to change something that is in their DNA, which is your identity, because of the next-door colleague, “you’re prettier” clogging your hair with formaldehyde and chemical.
But beautiful and happy empowered people take time to understand this, and there has to be respect for people who have decided to straighten and keep their hair straightened hair, you have to inform, not press, you can’t can get out of one oppression and fall into another, does not work like this … We have to love ourselves, and love the decision of the others, even if it differs from our convictions …
It took me 10 years to understand that my hair is BEAUTIFUL, it is SOFT, it is SEDOUS, IT IS NOT BAD, I just needed to learn how to take care of it, that it gives NO work, and what it is really bad is to impose things to others, bad thing it is to attempt against the beliefs of others, what is a bad thing it is to not accept the difference.
So if you afro/ curly and you know girls and boys who straighten their hair, do not judge, most of us went through this, we went through this fear of not being accepted, for this false contentment (but for some people it is real, but for others like me not), let’s give a rain tips, not a shower of criticism, or evil looks, this does not add up at all.
See you soon!